A little tough stuff and a whole lotta love

Today I walk through a bit of tough stuff. You know those moments in our life that really change our course in life. For me the toughest moment was 9 months ago today. I lost the love of my life,my best friend,my lover,my darling husband Marvin. 9 months ago he lost his fight to Mesothelioma all to young. He left my children and I here at home and in our arms,tears,joys and fears. How can you find joy in your husband dying in your arms you may ask! Here is what I know for sure... he suffered far to long and far to much. In that moment a peace came over him. The moaning stopped and he was free. Joy came from knowing how much he loved the Lord. He had told so many of his faith. Our pastor was here the week before his passing. He and Marvin had a long talk out on our old front porch. I learned the day of Marvin's Celebration of life service that Pastor Terry asked him if he knew the Lord. One of those things Pastor already knew.. but he had to ask. Pastor told us that day that when he asked Marvin, he smiled his big amazing smile and said "Oh yes Brother Terry. Oh yes I do. I love Him and I know I'll see Jesus face to face." For me the joy came from knowing he would be waiting for me at heaven's door. The joy of knowing he was no longer suffering and was meeting our Jesus face to face. How can you not feel joy? Was it painful? Of course,but the pain of his loss was easier somehow knowing of his faith and knowing he was safe and free. I feel my Marvin now around me. I feel him as a gentle breeze that touches my face when I need it the most. I see him in the pink sunsets,just as God sent me the night of his passing. I see him in every dragonfly that I see or create. I know some of you have not heard that story so I will post just a bit of the dragonfly story...The night before Marvin passed away (actually about 3 a.m.) My 2 grown children were sitting on our front porch with only a soft light on in our gazebo. Angi looked up and said "Momma, Justin look... Look !! There is a huge dragonfly under the porch light. We thought she was crazy. Well.. she was not. There under the light was the biggest,most beautiful dragonfly we had ever seen. Angi said "Wow Momma it's Daddys jet plane coming to take him to heaven!" The night passed with us going in and out and the dragonfly never moved. At 8:11,July 14th,2010, Marvin passed away in our arms. When Hospice arrived we had to leave them with Marvin. We went to the porch and the dragonfly looked at us and flew away. His mission was over. Now in every dragonfly we see our angel. With every message we send to eachother we sign it Dragonfly Kisses.

Ok.. now I just have to share something that so touched my heart today. Leslie over at http://wordsofmeproject.blogspot.com/ so touched me with her post and having me on her list of favorite blogs. She told how my little blog had touched her heart. Wow... Girls.. you just never know who sharing your life experiences may touch another. I am so blessed. So very,very blessed !! Hugs n love to you Leslie !!

So for today...here are a few pics of my Marvin,my amazing family and who knows what else! lol!! Enjoy !!

Our daughter Angi and our grandbabies,Connor and Trinity

Our son Justin

Marvin and Angie on his 54th birthday

My little girls, Angel and Annie

til next time.....
dragonfly kisses and great big hugs...