Here's to the New Year...2011

Here's to the New Year. Here's to you and new beginnings.For bigger dreams. To memories that comfort us. For health,happiness and many blessings. Here's to creative inspiration or finding a new muse. Here's to joy unspeakable and unconditonal love. Here's to God whom I love and need in my life. Here's to pink sunsets,dragonfly kisses and lots of laughter. Here's to life !!

I came to a wonderful realization. 2010 will be behind us. In my world the sadness and the loss of my husband this year will never come again .It is now history. Yes, 2011 will be a year of healing, remembering and new beginnings. So come on 2011 !! Lol !

I must thank you all for your support,encouragement,love,laughter and shoulders to cry on. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life for a reason or a season. My hugs and love go out to each of you!

Here is a challenge I posted at MaryJanesFarm...my challenge to my sisters there was to create a bucket list for 2011. New Years resolutions and I do not get along. I usually break them before January is over ! Lol! I find that I tend to do resolutins that set me up to fail ~ So this year I am creating a Busket List or Punch list as Marvin called it. I have a brand new journal ready for 2011 and at the front I am placing my bucket list for 2011. Not my life long bucket list but for this year. I will share a few of my random additions.

I will finally get my studio set up. My little haven to create and allow my muse to run and play freely as she chooses.

I will volunteer at a food bank, community outting, or church work day at least 1 a month, More if possible.

I will spend an hour each day praying,reading my bible and meditating .

Ok... There is a start. Let me know what you come up with. Share them here if you like to spark an idea in another .

Hugs and blessings to you all...
and have a blessed,safe Happy New Year!!

The Journey with a Japanese Journal

Here we go. So begins the journey through my Japanese Journal.I have been involved with a group on Flickr for about 2 years now. I love doing Zentangle ( See info on side bar). One of the friends I made there has a Journal addiction (Hugs Sandra...aka Molossus). She has shown several entried of her's. I finally found them and ordered 2 ! I too must admit... I am a journal addict ! ;O) ! I was blessed with an inspiration from another friend (Sandy B. at Beez in the belfry) She had posted from a journal she was doing . I left a message on her blog and she was kind enough to email me with a string idea for these journals. So... I jumped on it and here is the beginning 3 pages. There will eventually be a story written in the ribbon that goes through the journal. (When the muse for the story strikes me ! lol ) What's a Japanese Journal you ask . It is a journal that is accordian folded pages. All in a hard back cover. I found them at www.dickblick.com .They are a Moleskine product. I so love their journals... I have uhh.. several shall I say ! lol ! Many sizes to chose from. Anyway here is a picture of the first 3 pages. Keep an eye out for what comes next !!

My First Christmas In Heaven - Australian Country Music

This is a voice from heaven for me. It was writtne by a young boy dying of a brain tumor. Terry has added the music. What a blessing it is to me this year. My First Christmas without my dear husband Marvin. I heard his voice in this song !

Christmas alone

Merry Christmas everyone ! Well as I write it is not yet Christmas day here but I know it is for many of you ! This is my first Christmas without my dear husband ,Marvin. Our children and grandbabies are not going to be around so I am alone for the holiday. I am having a rough day and thought I would share some lessons I am learning this year.

1. It truly is all about Jesus birth for me this year. I will be reading the story of His birth from my Bible once again. Something I have not always taken time to do when the kids are around. My new tradition for Christmas.

2. It truly is better to give than receive.I haven't really felt like shopping or celebrating this year. But I was blessed to have a dear friend take me and together we came up with some great ideas for my adult children that refused to give me a wish list this year! lol ! I have also been able to bless a few others this season. That is a truly good feeling !

3. Along that line I am realizing that there are widows in my area that are probably spending Christmas alone as well. So for next year... I intend to so something for other widows that will be alone. Time to put on my thinking hat ! LOL !!

I pray you have a very blessed Christmas and that you will create many new memories . Hold on to those memories,as I am doing this year.

I miss you honey so very much but I know you are celebrating with the angels !! Kiss Jesus for me !

Hugs to all...
Kristy

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to my friends and family !! I pray your holidays are filled with love,laughter,joy,peace and so many beautiful memories. I love this old card image I got from a friends site. She has really cool vintage things !! Now I just have to find the link for any of you that might enjoy it !! lol !!
Blessings and hugs ...
Kristy

aka... Rose Twofeather
Sister #2339 on MJF..Eggfarmgirl

Story of the dragonfly

I can't sleep so I decided to get on my laptop and write the story of how the dragonfly has come to be so special to my family and I. Some of you might want a hanky !! lol !!

The last three days that Marvin was alive were really tough to say the least. I was blessed to have our daughter ,Angi, show up to help me with Marvin. We had him here at home and I was running in empty. Angi is a registered nurse and works on aa Pediatric ICU unit. So dealing with Daddy seemed easy to her. Our son showed up the day after Angi. So I was blessed with help. We had family coming in and out and a few ctlose friends that wanted to see him . He was in a coma but were told he would still hear us. We all had him respond in different ways . Anyway, the last 24 hours of hia life were horrible. We took turns comforting, caring for him, living him. The night before he passed away we were all exhausted but we finally got him comfortable and Angi and I went out on the front porch to chat and get a break. Justin stayed in the house incase Marvin would become restless. I was sitting in my comfy chair in daze when Angi screams... "Momma look !!!!!! It's a huge dragonfly Momma" I thought she was nuts and had drank too much wine ! lol !! It was pitch black only the porch light was on. She kept pointing and telling me Momma look... and ran in house to get justin to show him. I don't remember what planet I must have been visiting but I didnt even look up til Justin came out and said.. Wow.. I've never seen one that big. So I finally looked where apparently my daughter had been pointing to. I about fell over ! There under the light was the biggest dragonfly any of us had ever seen. He was beautiful as well. Angi started crying and saying.. "Oh Momma it's Daddys jet plane to take him to heaven!" We were so surprised that it did not fly away with us being so close and going in and out the front door. That was about 3 am. I finally layed down about 5 and he was still there. Angi woke Justin and I up about 10 til 8 . Telling us she thought he waS about to leave us. My son had gone outside and the dragonfly was still there. We sat and prayed,talked and held and loved Marvin into heaven. At 8:13Am July 14th, 2010 Marvin got his wings....and he left on the wings of that dragonfly. Justin walked outside and the dragonfly was gone.

Now we see a dragonfly and have to smile. Daddy had to come check on us is what Angi says. We had several other things happen that I will share at some point.

The dragonfly has led me back to finding my muse!! So.. here is what I am working on...It's 9"x12"...and not complete... Please return to see what comes next....lol !!

Missing my Love

Today marks 5 months since my loving Husband Marvin passed away. Each month on the 14th I sort of fall apart and remember his last moments of life. I must say...He did it his way ! He passed peacefully in our daughter,sons and my arms. Looking out the front window onto the front porch and into the beautiful garden he and I created . He loved sitting on the front porch and having his morning cigarette and his coffee. Even in the dead of winter I would find him there in his warm coat,hat and gloves. I sometimes think I still see him sitting there or smell his scent on the wind. This months anniversary is especially hard. The holidays are so lonely without him. Everyday is but the holidays are really knocking me down. I am sitting here in tears as I write. I just can't get it together today. How do I go on ? What I am I to do with the rest of my life? All my dreams left the day he went to heaven. I'm trying... I really am. But it's so hard. So hard to never feel his touch, to hear him say I love you honey. To never have his arms to comfort me when the tears begin to fall. It's just so hard. So...what am I to do? I don't know !!

In my last post I spoke of my muse returning. Well, she did...briefly. I managed to create a few special cards and write to my new MJF penpal. I began a piece of artwork today that had been layed on my heart to do. It felt so good, until a tear began to roll down my cheek. The missing Marvin set in and my muse flew out the window. If you see her... could you point her in my direction please !!

I have got to do something to pull myself out of this !! Yep,yep I do. But how? I dunno my friends... I dunno !! Ideas? Talk to me !!!

My Muse returns !! Yes !!

Hello my dear friends ! I have been away far to long. Since my beloveds passing in July I have been all over the map emotionally,physically,mentally and spiritually. I've made a big discovery walking this path called grief. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my 53 years of life. I do not believe that anything can prepare your for the death of your spouse. It took months to get paperwork here and there, answers cards,emails,letters and receiving visits. But...those days do come to and end. In the beginning you are numb. Going through the motions to get this and that done for the service and paperwork for everything under the sun. People keep in touch for a while then disappear. Going on with their lives and your are left alone for the first time with all there is to face. I have discovered sadly who my true friends are and thank God for them each day. But...life goes on, the bills need paid and somehow I am making my own path in this new part of my journey. This is the first time in my life I have been alone. I am beginning to see it's ups and downs very clearly. Ups...I can do what I wanna do when I wanna do it ! I can do what brings me joy for that day. I can create a new space just for me to enjoy. I stepped over into doing my own thing starting with my Christmas tree. I couldnt face the ornaments and things of Christmas's past...so... I purchased a little white tree and bought silver and pink..Lots of pink...balls and dragonfly ornaments. With on big silver dragonfly at the top representing my beloved Marvin. I love it ! It brings me joy and peace. There is a story about the dragonfly I will share on next post. Touching and teary so will wait! Anyway, in the process of doing that my Muse woke up !! Yes !! Finally ! Oh how I have missed you my friend ! Stay tuned... watch for what flies from the end of my pen,brush or who knows what !! LOL !!

I have missed you all ! But... I'm back !! Hugs to you all !!
Kristy