Zentangle from this weekend

Here is my tangle from this weekend. You have seen the one of my husband, Marvin's hand. I am doing one of each of our children and grandchildren as well in this Journal. I hope to do the grand babies, Connor and Trinity, each year on their birthday. Someone on Flickr had a great idea that I am going to try to do. To create a collage of sorts for each of the kids and their family and have it framed. as a gift. I love this idea and the kids were so tickled just seeing Marvin's complete.

I tried to do mine with a few lacier patterns in comparison to Marvin's . His seems to have a more masculine feel as I hoped it would. He just laughed when I said that saying " Well sure it looks more feminine it has PINK in it !" Pink being my favorite color ! LOL!! I added my son ,Justin Ryan's name in the heart and my Daughter Jessika Rose that never lived a day. Marvin's daughter and son are my children as well . I hate using the word Step children, they are mine now ! They call me Momma ! LOL!! I am praying hard for a new grand baby to come into my Son and his wife Angie's life . Then it will be a challenge tangling on a little tiny hand ! LOL! Can't wait !

I had better get to bed I know that Marvin will be up and down again tonight. Thank you for stopping by and leaving words of encouragement. That means so much to me .

Hugs to all,
Kristy

aka... Rose Twofeather at Flickr

LIfe and it's daily Challenges

This Zentangle is to honor Marvin and our love. Titled "King of my Heart "


I feel the need to blog . To share the challenges we are facing today. I am finding each day with Marvin's Cancer a bit more challenging. The latest is he is having more difficulty breathing. He wakes up in a panic unable to catch his breath. Just walking from the van to our house winds him. It is so sad to see this strong ,vibrant man be so out of control of his life. I spend many hours in tears as he rests. My own health is suffering and to be honest I am exhausted! We spent 3 days at our daughter, Angi's with her hubby, Jason and our grand babies, Connor and Trinity. That was a wonderful break for me as Angi is an RN so I could relax and let her take care of Daddy for a while. He of course lights up like a Christmas tree being there and spending time with them. As do I ! It was Trinity's 3rd birthday so it was a lot of fun seeing her so excited and happy. Connor is a special needs child and has so many challenges, but he loves his Poppy and Meme. For whatever reason he is so good with me and calms easily when I hold him and sing to him to calm him. He is 6 but can not speak, well anything you can understand, he will probably always be in diapers and has many physical challenges. But he is a fighter and keeps surprising us with new ways to get his point across. You could not find a more loving child that blesses our socks off each time we are together. Poppy and Meme love you so much Connor and Trinity !!!

I am in turmoil as to what the next step in Marvin's care will be. Bring in Hospice, private home health care ? He does not like having his space invaded by nursing staff. We had home health care before and he just did not like having them here ! But I can no longer do it all. Whinnnnnnnn... yes I am ! I know that I will find the right thing to do when I talk to his case manager again on Monday. I am just loosing sleep over this and wearing myself down with worries. I do have a strong faith and I know that all will happen for a reason . I am just not understanding why Bad things happen to good people. Talked to our Pastor and even he had no good answers to comfort me or make any sense of it ! Uggggg... I guess if we knew what the future was going to dole out we would probably just say... Nope can't deal with that.. I want outta here !! LOL!!! Trying to lighten up this blog entry.. not working so well is it ?

I am also saddened that so many of our friends just stay away. They don't know what to say so they just stay away and don't say anything. I am blessed to have made many new friends that are a great source of comfort and inspiration through my art on flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/rose-twofeather/

Thank you all for being there and for all the encouraging letters and comments on my artwork. I am deeply grateful for each of you ! You rock my world !!!

It is time I get off this computer and go do just that.. create a new piece of art ! Love doing that and sharing with others.

Hugs to you all.....

Kristy

My Tangle of the day.. ok last two days !

Hello all !

I just wanted to post the tangle I have been working on for the last 2 days. I have to do it off and on as I am dealing with a lot of pain and trying to keep up with caring for Marvin . Speaking of him, please if you are a praying person, say a prayer for him to have some relief tonight (Monday April 19th, 2010) . We have been up and down all hours of the night and day for the last 4-5 days and I am wearing out ! They upped us Morphine today so I pray that will take care of it for a while . What a journey this has been !

Today's Tangle is of Marvin's left hand. I love his hands and want to always remember them. I think I scanned this and it is on it's side, but in the text that is in the journal it says how I love his hands and how they have held me, touched me, picked me up, wiped away a million tears and created so many beautiful things that make our house our home. He is a master furniture builder and does wonderful work without even making a pattern. Just gets a thought in his head and gets the wood to create it and off he goes ! AMAZING !!! Anyway, he bought me a new 8x5 1/4 Moleskine Sketchbook Journal. I love it to pieces ! In the Flickr Zentangle group several of the ladies have Zentangled in their hand print. I loved the idea but wanted to do his hand first ! He thought I had lost my mind when I first had him lay his hand in the opened journal and proceeded to lightly draw around his hand with a pencil !!! I just said " Please just sit still Honey, I will show you later what I am doing with it !" He just smiled at me and said "Ok Honey..whatever makes you happy !!" Gotta love this man ! hehehe !! He got such a kick out of watching me tangle on his hand and is really proud of what I did with it. I am too and I do not say that about my own artwork often. Well, I am my own worst critic and have battled that stinking thinking from the past "I'm not good enough... etc... ! " So I am learning to accept what I have done as good enough for today. Tomorrow I will learn more and have had more practice in Zentangle.

So here it is.. or up there it is.. I can't remember ! LOL!!! Thanks for stopping by and visit often. I hope to do more with my blogspot as time allows.

Hugs to all... Kristy.. aka Rose Twofeather at FLickr

Finally a little art !! LOL!!!

Finally, I can post some of my artwork !! We have the Internet at home now and My scanner has been humming !! LOL!! The pieces I will post on this entry are ones I just finished for a Swap. These are all ATC's (Artist Trading Cards) that measure 3 1/2 x2 1/2inches. Mini pieces of art.. lol !! I trade these with others that make ATCs from a mix of medias. It is so much fun and I have grown in my Zentangle work. I have some a great teacher that have taken me under her wing. I am blessed to call her friend now! I hope she will soon allow me to post some of her works here !! Sandra has added my pieces to her blogspot ( http://www.lifeimitatesdoodles.blogspot.com/ )several times and it really makes me smile !!! Thank you Sandra !!

Link to my artwork !

I am not doing a good job at posting to my blogspot with my artwork ! LOL!! Technically challenges it appears ! No it is !! LOL!! So I have decided for the moment to post the link to my flickr site. There I post all my latest, traded and available to trade pieces. I also have a few that are listed as NFT... Not For Trade. Those are ones I have added to Marvin's journal. I hope to get back here and do some work on it and post pictures directly to my site. Praying I can get it to work for me. I see so many others that just post away !! Well.... I will get there !! LOL!!

Here is the link: www.flickr.com/photos/rose-twofeather/ I hope that works !!!

Now for a little update on Marvin and what is going on in our world. We have been on a journey to Dr after Dr. Wheww... still a few more to get to this week. Then I think a weeks break ! Anyway... the news is that Marvin's pain had gone sky high again. We were so hopeful after he completed 12 rounds of radiation. He was pain free for several weeks. YEA !! Then the pain came back with a vengeance! The dear man was just grey in color and having such a horrible time. He started taking the Oxycodone and Motrin again... but that did little to take away his pain. So off to the Dr's. another CT Scan,lab work,x-rays and finally a consult with the Dr. The CT shows no additional growth in the bigger tumor at the top of his lung. It had already pushed in between the ribs prior to the radiation. But it is pushing on the nerves that go into his shoulder. So they added Morphine to the other meds ! Wow... can you say... twilight Zone !! LOL!! Sad but true. Thank God it is relieving his pain and he is getting used to him. Not so much of a fruit loop, as he says, as he was when he started it. We are thankful for that. The next Drs visit is to see if they will or can take out the chest tube that he has had forever now. If they can do that we can go back for chemotherapy. That is our prayer now.
I will end this post on a high note... Last night, March 15th,2010, we went to see Bon Jovi live in concert, with our daughter Angi and son in law Jason . We had a great night !! Marvin did well keeping his pain under control and was all smiles. This was a dream for him. Angi and he love Bon Jovi and this was on his Punch List , as we call it, things he dreams of doing before he goes home to be with the Lord ! It was an amazing experience and one I will forever remember. He sat between Angi and I . I would tear up when I would see her arm around her Daddy and they would be head to head singing at the top of their lungs. The smiles and the tears were worth every painful moment !! Yes.. I was in pain !! But.. I would do it again for they joy it all brought to he and Angi! Well to Jason and I too!! LOL!! Thank you so very much for an amazing night Angi and Jason !!! We love you so very much !! HUGS, KISSES and so much LOVE !!!
Well I am off to do something.. not sure what at this point !!
Hugs and prayers...
Kristy

Where's the Art?

So I am sure you are wondering, where's the art? Well, that is coming. I am working on getting the scanner to work so I can get some better pictures of my artwork published here. I've been taking them on my phone and adding the pics ,but the ones of my art are not so clear. So working out a bug in my plan.
Now you ask , what kind of art does she do? Well, that one is a rough one to answer. I am currently doing what is called Zentangles. It is a way of drawing on paper with usually black art pens on white Watercolor paper. It is a very relaxing style of drawing that just seems to flow from you. There are several great blog spots here on BLOG SPOT that can teach you basic patterns and get you going. I have to links over on the left side of this page that take to two excellent bloggers that I am learning much from. Anyway, I have also drawn for a long time just free handed drawings in Pen and ink and added watercolor to them. So I hope to share some of them and tell the stories of how they came to be.
I have to tell you that I could not draw a good stick figure before I became very ill back in 2000. But after crawling the walls for months I finally picked up a pen, for some unknown reason, went outside and saw beautiful iris that were in bloom. I sat on a little stool in front of it and just drew what I saw. WOW ! Was all my family could say. So the next day I bought my first drawing book and so began my collection of works. Now some 6 volumes later, a few sold,many gifted and now trading with people all over the world. Here I am, healing my broken heart and putting it out there for the world to see. Through difficulties comes inspiration, emotion and release. God has given me this gift to help me heal, or carry on, through my artwork. I am disabled now, so this is the one thing I can do on good days , if it is a bad one,well it will still be there when I am feeling better.
Now I am walking on this amazing journey with my dear husband and letting my art speak and tell our story. I hope that somehow this will touch another life and encourage that person to walk on. To dare to do something they never dreamed possible. This is what has happened to me.
So this is another page in my blog. Soon as I get the bugs worked out I will post some works for you to see. You may like them and you may not. That is OK. I just want to share and reach out and touch through my art and our story with Mesothelioma Lung Cancer.
Til next post... God bless you...

Welcome to my little spot in the world

Welcome to my Healing Through Art blog spot. This is where I will share my story and hopefully touch another life with it. SO hold on to your seats and join me though the ride.
This blog is dedicated to my dear Husband Marvin. He is fighting for his life against Mesothelioma Lung Cancer. He is our families hero and I am so proud to be his wife. In March of 2009 an angel knocked him off a ladder at work. He landed hard on his back and shoulders , popping his head on the gound. He went to see the Dr and they took xrays to see if anything was broken. No breaks, but the found a dark spot on his right lung. The wheels were put in motion ,CTs, PET scans,needle biopsy and finally a thoracotomy to open up his back and take out samples of whatever it was. Their words , not mine. They were stumped for several days until the biopsy results came in. MESOTHELIOMA CANCER of the lung. WHAT? We had heard that term used on many TV ads. But, why Marvin? After the shock set in and we were told his outlook wasn't good. I began searching for information. And information I received !!! Mesothelioma attacks the lining around the lung and make a hard coating around it that causes the lung to not move inside the lung cavity.
Mesothelioma is from exposure to asbestos. Many of us in the 50 or even 40 year old range probably were exposed to it in our schools or homes with the old radiator systems. SO many industries used this toxic material . Things we never dreamed of until we met with out attorney and she brought a picture book to look through. Mud, that they use in home to tape the sheetrock joints,brakes on cars, the list goes on for miles . In the course of the visit with the attorney Marvin told that when he was in junior high he wrestled. During the season they would go down in the boiler room to sweat and excercise. They would be on top of the boilers,you guessed it, they were wrapped in asbestos. When they would move you could see the dust in the air. He also was exposed while with his father on constuction sites in his teens. There were many other times as we soon learned.
Well, we know the facts, now what do we do with this? We begin treatment,chemotherapy. He is in and out of the hospital 3 times to date , due to two surgeries and to infections. The last time they were ready to put him on a ventilator,he was that far gone. But, God had another plan. I cried out to God and said please don't take him from me now. He sat up and shocked us all !!! The Drs and nurses were stunned and spent a lot of time saying they just didn't understand. Well We do!! God wasn't through with him yet ! That will have to be another entry on where that has taken us. LOL!
As I start this blog, we are at our daughters to live for awhile, as he takes radiation treatments. The plan is 10 to 15 straight days, excluding weekends. Tje story and art will come at another date. Keep coming back to hear out story !!